Cloud - A beautifully handsome twenty-four year old man who's life is turned upside-down one day when he is kidnapped (see 1000 Semen Ducks) and enters into the confusing world of super heroes that he will never be able to leave.
Riku - An equally sexy man who was dating Cloud until the horrible kidnapping (see 1000 Semen Ducks) when he realized he wasn't wanted and set out into the world. It was only a week later before he stumbled upon a battle between SEXY HOTT MAN, crime fighter extrordinaire, and THE SEXMAN and THE 69ER, a tag team from ORGY XIII. His life changed forever when he took SEXY HOTT MAN back to his apartment to heal him, and got wrapped up in a world he never knew, and could now never leave.
Kairi - Riku's friend who keeps telling him not to get involved with the world of superheroes. SEXY HOTT MAN later becomes friends with her. Later in the story, MASTURBATION MAN kidnaps her to lure SEXY HOTT MAN.
Namine - CONDOM BOY's ex-girlfriend. She was his girlfriend until he met THE FLAMING CROTCH and was pulled into the world of superheroes
Hayner - One of CONDOM BOY's old friends. He still hates the fact that CONDOM BOY left them.
Pence - One of CONDOM BOY's old friends. He is more sympathetic about CONDOM BOY leaving.
Olette - One of CONDOM BOY's old friends. She looks after Hayner and Pence.SEXY HOTT MAN - SEXY HOTT MAN, along with this normal weapons, has special waves he has learned to hone to his use, that causes anyone coming into contact with him to become extremely horny.
PLEASURABLE SEX TOY - PLEASURABLE SEX TOY uses his wide array of fuzzy handcuffs, whips, etc to fight against the FORCES OF EVIL and pleasure his boyfriend (coughCloudcough) until he can't stand!
THE FLAMING CROTCH - THE FLAMING CROTCH has the special attack of setting his crotch on fire. The bad part about having this superpower is that it happens whenever he is horny, so it happens multiple times a day. He has to go to great lengths to keep civilians from learning his secret identity.
CONDOM BOY - CONDOM BOY uses his special ninja moves along with his never ending supply of condoms to fight against the FORCES OF EVIL and the widespread sweeping of STD'S across the nation
THE CLOAKED PLAYBOY BUNNY - THE CLOAKED PLAYBOY BUNNY uses his sexy and skimpy undergarments to seduce hapless victims and the forces of evil, and while they are distracted, his partner, THE WET DREAM, comes in to attack.
THE WET DREAM - THE WET DREAM comes in and attacks the opponent in their time of weakness. This sometimes fails, though, as THE WET DREAM is sometimes seduced by his partner, THE CLOAKED PLAYBOY BUNNY, as well, but this has only happened a few times. While attacking, he makes his opponents viciously hard, forcing their attention to waver before using his wide array of ninja moves to "beat" on them, as he likes to say (much to his partner's dismay).HOT PENIS - Being a somewhat deranged superhero, HOT PENIS has a large obsession for hansome blonds. He constantly kidnaps them, and tries to take them against their will. Cloud being an exception, because he fought back, and PLEASURABLE SEX TOY arrived just in time. HOT PENIS is still on a personal vendetta to get Cloud back into his clutches.
ORGY XIII - A group with the overall plan of kidnapping SEXY HOTT MAN for his pure heart, but some in the group are against the motives, and go against the orgy in the end. For more information about the individual members, please visit the section about ORGY XIII below.I. THE SEXMAN - THE SEXMAN uses his uber sexiness along with his stoic nature to woo both women and men (but mostly men) across the nation, never feeling any remorse as he uses them for his devious plots and leaving them for nothing.
II. MASTURBATION MAN - MASTURBATION MAN uses many attacks, but his main one is shooting a sticky, white, but unknown fluid at his enemies with his large purple guns (compensation for something? The world may never know), sticking them in place before kicking them in their... sensitive parts.
III. THE VIBRATOR - THE VIBRATOR uses his many spears to fight against his enemies. The plus side of these spears is that, at the flick of a switch, they turn into vibrators!
IV. THE PORNOLOGIST - THE PORNOLOGIST has special brainwave powers, used for the projection of his wide array of porn into his enemies', or comrades', brains. He first reads the other person's mind, finding out what they sexually despise, before choosing their horror and projecting the porn. While they are stricken with disgust/fear, his partner, S&M MAN, jumps in for the final blow. He knows of all kinks, "conditions," and genres of porn. If you have any questions about sex, he's the one to go to.
V. THE SWINGER - THE SWINGER uses his manly "willies" to seduce many women and men, using them for his superior's devious plans and his own sexual needs before dropping them and going onto the next person. He has a horrible reputation of making any man or woman fall in love with him before dropping them like a sack of potatoes. He is a behind-the-scenes fighter, not one favoring upfront fighting, but uses his brain and brawn to lure people into horrible plans, make them believe he is on their side, before betraying them. He will always be loyal to ORGY XIII.
VI. THE CLOAKED PLAYBOY BUNNY - THE CLOAKED PLAYBOY BUNNY uses his sexy and skimpy undergarments to seduce hapless victims and the forces of evil, and while they're distracted, his partner, THE WET DREAM, comes in to attack.
VII. THE 69ER - THE 69ER is a devious but stoic man, favoring the 69 position during sex. He is loyal to his partner, THE SEXMAN (otherwise known as "The Superior"). His attacks include going into a "berserker" mode, where he viciously starts humping everything in site, forcing his enemies into submission. He is secretly very jealous over every man and woman THE SEXMAN seduces for his evil plots, but never lets on. Except for that one time...
VIII. THE FLAMING CROTCH - THE FLAMING CROTCH has the special attack of setting his crotch on fire. The bad part about having this superpower is that it happens whenever he is horny, so it happens multiple times a day. He has to go to great lengths to keep civilians from learning his secret identity.
IX. THE WET DREAM - THE WET DREAM comes in and attacks the opponent in their time of weakness. This sometimes fails, though, as THE WET DREAM is sometimes seduced by his partner, THE CLOAKED PLAYBOY BUNNY, as well, but this has only happened a few times. While attacking, he makes his opponents get viciously hard, forcing their attention to waver before using his wide array of ninja moves to "beat" on them, as he likes to say (much to his partner's dismay).
X. THE MISSIONARY - [will fill in later]
XI. S&M MAN - [will fill in later]
XII. THE DOMINATRIX - [will fill in later]
XIII. CONDOM BOY - CONDOM BOY uses his special ninja moves along with his never ending supply of condoms to fight against the FORCES OF EVIL and the widespread sweeping of STD'S across the nation!